Not so skinny jeans

I bought a card the other day that i loved. It says " Skinny Jeans are for Imaginary Girls and 12 Year Old Boys". This came to my mind today when i was having my every Wednesday lunch date with Kendall at Doc Greens. If you have not experienced the little piece of heaven on earth that is Doc Greens, you are missing out. I have perfected what i like to call the best salad on earth. Those of you that know me know that im no lightweight in the eating department.. so for me to be in love with a salad-- its freaking good. Anyway, as I'm munching away on my lunch, in walks what can only be described by a black girl as a "Hot Mess". She was by my estimation about 5'4" and 200 lbs. Guess what she was wearing? SKINNY JEANS. I'm not lying when i say her legs were 2 big denim funnels with tiny shoes that had been forced to pop out of the bottom. It was like a Saturday Night Live skit was being filmed right in front of my eyes. Have you ever seen the one with the commercial for 'Mom Jeans' where the women all have really wide hips and have their jeans pulled up to their armpits. The skit I saw today at lunch was similar except kinda worse. So many questions come to mind....
First-- "Where do you even buy those?" In my opinion there are a couple of things that just shouldn't be sold in the size XXL. These include thongs, mini skirts, bikinis and skinny jeans.
Second-- "How the hell do you even squeeze yourself into those?" I was around in the 80s and I do remember laying down a time or two to put on my acid-washed Guess jeans, but these looked as if they could only have been hoisted up by a crane. My heart really went out to the stitching of her pants...it was just never meant to be tortured that way.
Lastly-- "Who forgot to explain to people that Skinny Jean is a description of the pants, not a description of what you are going to look like if you wear them?"
Nuff said.. leave the skinnys for the anorexics and Christian on Project Runway. Thats where they really belong.