bruised biker

i decided to try out something new this past weekend called mountain biking. to some this is a fun sport where you can bond with friends and really experience the outdoors. to me its more like a time to hold on for dear life and to actually feel the bruises forming on your crotch as you hit each bump in the road. kevin did a good bit of mountain biking when we first met in college and he and his friend will have spent many a night in our basement fixing up his old bike. so this weekend we decided to go to n georgia to try out the new fixed up bike that we have spent 8 million dollars on. its funny b/c girls arent the only ones that get all excited and go buy a new outfit for an event or decide they are going to start exercising only to find out that they really just wanted to buy some new cute workout clothes. kev's been so excited about this weekend that he bought a bunch of weird stuff to go on his bike and a new helmet, new padded shorts (um, really should have invested in a pair for myself) and he and the guys went out early sat morning for a 18 mile ride. after lunch they were ready to jump back on the bikes and i thought what the heck, im tough, ill come along for the ride-- i mean, its only 8 miles. i should have known it was a bad sign when i pedaled around the parking lot and my crotch was already sore. we started down this path made up of what seemed like bowling ball size rocks and the bouncing and bruising began. the downhill ride was pretty fun i must admit, however at one point i kind of felt like i was being molested by the bike seat. i literally looked down and the front of the seat was inside my shorts which im thinking isnt right. its when we started the uphill climb that i couldnt really find the beauty of the outdoors. its kind of like riding a horse where after a while there is just no comfortable way to shift your butt. i know little to nothing about bikes so when i hear instructions like 'just shift it to a lower gear' it means i start pushing all of the buttons and hoping i can find some way to make my thighs stop burning. for whatever reason i never found that gear. to make a long story short.. i dont think im a mountain biking kind of gal. last night as i was sitting on the toliet feeling the burn of my pee i was really taken aback to a couple of days after kendall was born when i felt like someone had fought world war III between my legs. at least with that i had a cute little baby to show for it-